Chapter 10

“I think today was kind of scary guys.”

“I’ll say! You were almost sent off to New Jersey!”

“And we were moved to this new cage! Moving is a real big stressor I read once.”

“WHAT, Ra???”

“Okay, okay, I didn’t read that exactly, but I did hear about moving really stressing birds out and you have to admit that it is true!”

“Yea. But kind of fun too. Maybe we’ll get a new basket house. I see one just sitting there on the table not in a cage or anything.”

“Can we get back to me almost having to go away to New Jersey???? Seriously guys that was scary and exciting but mostly scary because I can’t fly yet! I need MORE feathers. And I know I’m supposed to want to leave really bad like the way Mr. Head Spa felt, but I don’t want to leave you guys for anything in the world.”

“No, that was pretty…um…..um……” (Tamara curls up into a ball)

“Oh Tamara! But I didn’t go after all, but I feel really really sad too at the same time as scared and tired. Boy bird feelings are complicated.”

“How do you think I felt? I got NO tail feathers. Not one and not even one growing in.“

“I’m scared Ra! I’m scared! And not even Grace is here anymore to talk to! Where is our new phone that Apron Lady is supposed to get us???”

“Okay, we gotta figure this out guys. Let’s go eat some egg stuff and splash around in the water dish and get seeds everywhere and then see if we can take a nap and then we need to have a pow-wow. That’s what Indians have and never mind how I know that.”

“Okay. Are you up for this Tamara?”

“Yeah, I mean, we gotta try to understand things and maybe try to guess what might happen next here in the lady’s house”

“Yeah that’s it! We’ll think of all the possible things that might happen to us and then we won’t be totally surprised. “

“Even bad things?”

“I guess even bad things Eon. Everything. But mostly GOOD things, k?

“Okay Ra. Look, Apron Lady made everything all clean so it’ll be even more fun to make a mess! Let’s go!”

Chapter 9

"Whoa it’s like I woke up and I had tail feathers! Look at me! Look at me! Ra, Tamara! When is Apron Lady coming so we can see if we can all really fly up high to the top of the porcelain stuff!”

“I know I-yawn! They look so beautiful! And much fuller than mine. I don’t know what’s the matter with my feathers. But I’m getting pretty bummed out about it”

“Hey, Apron Lady and Rita Lady said you have to wait for the new wing feathers to grow in. Let’s measure them every day, okay?”

“But how?

“Oh. Good question. And we can’t go ask Mr. Head Spa because he was finally released which I am both happy and sad about.”

“Oh, don’t even talk to me about that! I am mad because I miss him. Just one day some lady picked him up and released him where she found him. Lucky! But Apron Lady misses him. She was acting all ‘oh that’s great’ but she was hurtin’ too. She was crying when she was moving the cages around. She’s like you Tamara.”

“Do you think so Ra? Well, so that’s one more way animals are like humans? Except I don’t cry the way she does, I just curl up in a ball and don’t feel good at all. She gets all wet in her eyes.”

“Maybe we just imagine it’s the same, but there’s no harm in that is there? The important thing we absolutely know is that we miss Mr. Head Spa and Apron Lady misses Mr. Head Spa but we are glad he got to go and be released.”

“What were you guys even talking about before? All this talk about Mr. Spa is making even me want to curl up into a ball and not feel very good.”

“Oh. Well, we decided we need to find a way to measure our feathers so we know if they are growing. Just the tail feathers and the wing feathers for now.”

“That’s a potentially good idea. Oh, hey did you see that sparrow Lee with the bald spots? He was talking to Florence who was talking to Cynthia who was talking to Grace about feeling all itchy in certain areas so he scratches and then the feathers don’t grow. And even though they are the feathers not on his wings or tail, he needs them in order to stay warm outside in the winter.”

“Oh yeah, Mr. Head Spa told me once about 'weather; one day and that there are non-hot days”

“We gotta get all of us sparrows together and make sure we all get feathered and flying like soon.”

“But if some of us don’t end up being able to fly, what is going to happen? I mean, it’s not like it’s so so bad here, but they aren’t going to kick us out anyway are they?”

“No way. We are way too cute to kick out! Especially me, of course.”

“Heehee. I hope so. But we want to FLY! We need some supplies. And we need one of those black metal things that opens up and does research when you jump on the buttons.”

“Yeah! We need a MacBook Pro.”

“No, Tamara. What we need is the Droid X."

"Ooooooooooooooh!" (chirp Tamara and Ion in unison)

"We get the ladies to hang it up just like they hang up the millet and we use our beaks to use the screen for research and to get apps to help us measure our feathers."

"Ooooooooooooooh!" (chirp Tamara and Ion in unison)

"AND....maybe we can use it to find Mr. Head Spa and call and talk to him."

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!!" (chirp Ra, Tamara, and Ion in unison).

Chapter 8

“What’s ampfroposize?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. What?”

“Someone said that Apron Lady was ampfroposizing the sparrows. Have I been ampfroposized?”

“Oh man, Eon, you’re killin' me. Let’s go ask Mr. Head Spa and Grace.”

“Mr Head Spa! Grace! Are you awake!”

“Good God Ra, what is it? We’re right here by the millet spray.”

“Eon wants to know if he has been amfosized. And I want to know if I have been amfosized too”

“What in the world are you guys talking about?

“Sigh… Someone said that Apron Lady was amfosizing us sparrows”

“No, Ra, “AMPFROPIZING’”

“Hee! Hee! Ion has got a great one Spa! Never a dull word out of your little beak Ion.”

“ What is it Grace? I was just using the pumice stone to spruce up my own beak.”

“Ion wants to know if Apron Lady has been anthropomorphizing him. Well, and us too for that matter.”

“Yeah! That’s the word! Shoot! It’s Anthrowpomosizing!”

“Spa?”

“Grace you go ahead and tell them about this oddity of the human mind”

“Alright. Well, it’s when humans act like animals are like humans. They think that we’re a lot like them except for the feathers and fur and whatnot”

“Okay….and so, we’re actually not like them?”

“We may be in some ways and not be in some other ways. But really, neither humans nor animals know for sure.”

“But the humans eat and sleep and poop?”

“Heck yeah!”

“But they don’t have feathers and fur?”

“Right. They have hair.”

“Yeah hair! I hate hair. A piece of it got wrapped around my leg once. A lady had to unravel it.”

“Dangerous stuff Ra!”

“You can say that again!”

“Okay. Dangerous stuff Ra!”

“Oh not literally Eon! You’re the funny guy NOW I see….well, you’re learning from the best. ME!”

“ Okay okay guys, do you want to talk about this or what?”

“Yeah, yeah Grace. So, and don’t forget that they are WAAAAAAAY bigger than us. Right Grace.

“Right Ra. Way bigger.”

“And they live in cages too like us. Only bigger ones. Hey! We live in a cage inside a cage!

“HAHA! We do Ion!”

“So I can’t tell if we are more alike or more different than humans.”

“Yeah, this is a gnarly question. Spa, care to weigh in?”

“Ugh. Let’s keep thinking and talking about it. Mostly, as long as they keep this delicious food coming and keep mentioning the word 'release', I’m not sure I care much if we are like them or not.”

“Hmmmm. Release. The thing I’m not ready for. But I am ALWAYS ready for worms! And hey, I know we sparrows are different than worms because worms don’t eat sparrows, but sparrows do eat worms. That’s a big difference.”

“Sure is. I hope there is nothing out there that would want to eat us. Mr. Spa?”

“That’s way more than enough talk for today Ra and Ion. Go eat and nap and jump around and don’t forget to tell Tamara how pretty she is.”

“K!!!!”

Pause for this Poem I love

Bird-Understander

BY CRAIG ARNOLD

Of many reasons I love you here is one

the way you write me from the gate at the airport
so I can tell you everything will be alright

so you can tell me there is a bird
trapped in the terminal all the people
ignoring it because they do not know
what do with it except to leave it alone
until it scares itself to death

it makes you terribly terribly sad

You wish you could take the bird outside
and set it free or (failing that)
call a bird-understander
to come help the bird

All you can do is notice the bird
and feel for the bird and write
to tell me how language feels
impossibly useless

but you are wrong

You are a bird-understander
better than I could ever be
who make so many noises
and call them song

These are your own words
your way of noticing
and saying plainly
of not turning away
from hurt

you have offered them
to me I am only
giving them back

if only I could show you
how very useless
they are not

Chapter 7

(You can barely see little Victoria peeking out from on top of the books!)







“You should of seen it, you should of seen it! Victoria got free and flew all the way to the top of that bookcase and stayed there like forever! They couldn’t get her! She’s awesome!”

“Really? I missed the whole thing! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I-yahn, you need your naps pretty bad. You know that.

“Okay, that’s true Tamara. But then what happened? I can see that she’s back in there with Cynthia.”

"Yeah, she finally flew down to the cages because she was hungry and Apron Lady caught her with the net. But I know Victoria let her catch her because she flies way too good to be caught. Oh, excuse me a sec guys, someone in the Big Cage has a message for me.”

"Okay Ra, anyway, and Victoria also knew that Cynthia was worrying and also lonely and scared. Cynthia isn’t flying so good yet."

"Why?"

"I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Mr. Head Spa to ask Jamie to ask Fenton to ask Victoria to ask Cynthia.”

“Guys! Hey! WAIT! I have much huger news! There is another bird in the Big Cage also named Ion! Except it’s not a sparrow it’s a blue jay! This is so WEIRD!"

“What?”

“2 Ions?”

“Yeah. That’s what I just said”

(Ion immediately curls up in a basket and falls into a deep and restful sleep.)

“Oh Ra, you really are too much with your jokes. Now look at the poor little guy"

"IT’S NO JOKE!"

"SH!"

"it’s no joke! There is seriously another Ion over there. Grace translated from Joe the Robin. See, the guy who rescued our Ion also rescued that Blue Jay named Ion and the ladies name us birds after the people who rescue us.”

“You mean, our parents didn’t name us Tamara and Ra?”

“I guess they didn’t. Oh! Tamara don’t cry! It’s okay, whatever your name was before, your parents loved you a lot for sure. And maybe we can try to remember what they named us too. We remember being in the nest, so we may be able to remember our names too.”

“o…kkkkkk…ay Ra. That’ll be fffffff…..un. Ra or whatever your real name is, you really are my best friend.”


“You’re my best friend too Tamara, or whatever your real name is. Look there’s room in Ion’s basket for us too. Let’s go take naps.


Kkkkkk…ay.

Chapter 6

“Excuse me, Mr. Head Spa?”

“Wha? Who’s that? Oh, I-yahn. What’s the matter?”

“Oh, did I startle you? Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to discuss a few things I had on my mind”

“Oh, sure, of course. I must have just nodded of a little. These hot summer days, you know.”

“You mean there are other kinds of days that are not hot? Boy oh boy, I come to find out the answers to a few questions but then end up having even MORE questions!”

“Ah, but that’s good little one. Always good to have more questions than answers. But, let me tell you that there are days that are actually cold. That’s down the road a few months. You’ll be fully feathered and ready to weather it – so to speak.”

“ My head hurts! Oh, no offense, I meant inside my head, the brain part.”

“Ha! Yeah, that other kind of head pain. You’re such a curious little soul it must be hard for you not to get overwhelmed.”

“You bet it is! I need LOTS of naps,”

“Well, was there something in particular you wanted to discuss?”

“There was. I can’t remember it now. Can we just perch on these baskets and watch the sparrows on that other table zoom around? Ra calls it watching Bird TV”

“Okay. The 2 in the first cage are Jamie and Fenton. They are probably your age. They love eating millet sprays. It’s pretty entertaining to see them figure out how to get every little grain even if sometimes the spray is put up too far from their perches…”

“I hate when they that happens! I also hate when they put the water and food directly below our perches. I mean, you know what happens directly below a bird perch, of course “

“Yeah, that’s not pleasant. Sometimes these ladies aren’t thinking very clearly. As Ra would say: “DUH!” Okay, now let’s watch some Bird TV.”

Chapter 5

OUT OF THE CAGE!!!!

Chapter 4

“Hey guys, I’ve been embarrassed to ask because I thought maybe I was supposed to know already, but… what are those things moving around in the cage behind us?”

“Who, those guys? You mean you don’t know? They are birds too Eon, different kinds of birds. Robins, a Blue Jay, and a Starling.”

“ I-yahn, you know they are birds if they have feathers – black ones, orange ones, blue ones – just, you know, feathers.”

“Wow, no kidding? Head Spa said something about a monk with green feathers, but I wasn’t sure if he was serious.”

“You mean the Monk Parrot. We learn a ton of stuff from Head Spa. And from Grace too, the other sparrow in his cage. She’s shy, but wicked smart. She can even translate some of what those other birds are saying!”

“Yeah, Ra and I were pretty much like you asking questions all the time when we first came here. “

“Well, they get to eat a lot of worms all the time. They are lucky. Then again, they don’t have any seeds, so…..hmmmm. There was that one gray …uh….’bird’ who made soooo much noise! I had no idea what she was saying all the time.”

“Oh that was Norma, she was cool. She would come over here and talk nonstop whenever she could escape from the cage. I have no idea what she was saying, but it was loud! She got to go get released out in some place with trees and water and grass.”

“Do you think that’s where we’ll be able to go? I don’t know what grass is, but it’s probably better than concrete, right?

“OH, way better.”

“Ra! You don’t even know what grass is yourself!”

“Head Spa said grass was green and soft like feathers except it’s not feathers. So I KNOW it’s better than concrete which is gray and hard, okay Tamara? Geez!”

“I-yahn, I’m sorry, even though he’s my best friend, sometimes I get mad because Ra acts like he knows everything. “

“You both know tons more than me, that’s for sure. But can we get back to these other birds next door? Can we try to talk to them?”

“Tamara, maybe you better answer that because I guess you’re sick of me knowing everything!”

“RA! Sigh…..we’ve been trying to learn each other’s languages for awhile, with Grace’s help. We can say things like ‘hello’ and ‘your poop is blue’ and ‘why don’t you eat seeds”.”

“Their poop is blue?!!! I think I’m going have to go curl up and take a nap in the corner – this is all very overwhelming.”

“It’s because they eat blueberries….ooops, maybe you wanted to answer that Tamara?”

“Oh RA! Just forget I ever said anything. I totally understand I-yahn. A nap is a good idea. I think I’ll take one too. Sweet dreams!”

Chapter 3

“I LOVE THESE WORMS! Ra and Tamara, I can’t believe you don’t come over and try to get the Apron lady to give you some.”

“They really don’t whet my appetite Eon.”

“Me neither Ra. And I’m kind of afraid of them. They are pretty big.”

“Well, I guess that means more for me! I wonder if I should change my name to Worm Man? That’s probably better than Ion, right?”

“ Oh geez, Eon, I don’t think so. Sounds like the name of a super villain.”

“Yeah. And ‘worm’ rhymes with ‘squirm’ and ‘germ’ and that’s ooky. And, I – Yawn, pretty soon everyone will be calling you ‘Fat Man’ if you keep eating those all the time.”

“Ha! I did notice that my feathers are feeling a little snug. But you guys are right. That’s not a good name. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Maybe you’re a girl and you can get married and take the name of the boy bird? Your first name could be ‘Mrs.”

“Really? I’m totally going to do that if I’m a girl! That would be awesome. Or....well, lots of birds get married so there are a whole lot of birds named 'Mrs.' already, right? Maybe not so awesome. Hrmpf.”

DUST BATHS!

Chapter 2

Ion chats with an older Sparrow in a cage next door...


“Mister, are you a Monk?”

“ Huh? I’m a sparrow.”

“Well, yeah, I know that, but you don’t have any feathers around the crown of your head and that’s the way monks look. I saw it on a church statue from my nest ”

“ The only monks I know are parrots and they have plenty of feathers on their heads. Green ones. I don’t have feathers because of an unfortunate accident involving a window in which my head was split open and my eye was all messed up.”


“Oh. Wow. Geez. That must have hurt. I’m really sorry about that. And your eye? I never would have known. And there are birds with green feathers???? I guess I don’t know much about what happens in the outside world. You see, I fell out of my nest when I was littler and I got rescued by a human. But I sure wish he had been able to put me back or in a safe place where my parents could find and feed me!”

"That’s pretty rough. These humans sometimes don't think about that. That species is very confused. But then again, your nest may have been way high up on a light pole.”

“ Yeah, humans. I mean one minute they are scooping you up and tearing you away from your family and the next minute they are giving you gourmet food and fresh water. But then, I guess they did a good thing by bringing you in?”

“ Yeah, but it’s taking my head so long to get better I’m afraid I won’t remember how things are done outside. And boy do I ever need a dust bath.”

“oh cool a dust bath sounds fun! I hope you get better fast and get to go back out there. I would like to go with you if that’s okay.”

“Totally. But hey little guy you’ve got to learn to fly first. When those tail feathers start growing in, it will all start to get easier.”

“I sure hope so Mr. Sparrow. The Rita Lady is helping Tamara fly by plucking out tattered feathers. Tamara says it really hurts but she can’t wait to see what the new ones will look like.”

“Ouch! I may have a bald spot on my head, but otherwise my plumage is perfect. See? (flutter, flutter, flutter) And, oh, call me Head Spa. “

“Okay. Thank you Mr. Head Spa. Um, my name is ‘Y-ahn’ but I think I need to reconsider that. Everyone says ‘I-on’. Anyway, I’m going to go back over to the other side of the cage to see if I can score some worms from the Apron Lady.”

“Good luck, I- Y-ahn!”

Video of Head Spa:

Chapter 1

Ion is a young house sparrow being rehabilitated at the Wild Bird Fund in New York City. He is sharing a cage with 2 other young rescued sparrows named Ra and Tamara. There are 5 other cages around with other sparrows. Here are bits and pieces of dialogue overheard by the Apron Lady....


“I-on? What kind of name is that?”

“It’s pronounced “Y-ah-n. Like Yarn with a Maine accent.”

“”What’s Maine?”

“Oh forget it!”

“Well, Yawn, did you know that you have no tail feathers??”

“Yes, I know that! If I had tail feathers, I’d probably be the greatest flying sparrow EVER and not be in this cage with you and Tamara And, oh, by the way, what kind of name is RA?”

“It’s short for Ra-UL. And I’m having some trouble flying myself. I’m too young.”

“Well,, Ra, we’re going have to figure out how to fly.”

“Not so easy while stuck in this cage. I mean, I can flutter around here pretty well, but one time that lady let me out and expected me to fly around some room with lots of white porcelain and I was like ‘What? Are you kidding me?’”

“”Oh, that was awful. But at least the food here is REALLY good.”

“Yeah, Tamara, that’s true. Hey! New dried egg supplement! Check it out Yawn”

“Sigh…..Y-ah-n”